浅谈中美婚礼习俗的差异与融合

毕 业 论 文

On the Differences and Fusion in Wedding Customs

Between China and America 浅谈中美婚礼习俗的差异与融合

学院 专业 级 班

学生姓名 学号 指导教师 职称 完成日期

Abstract: Wedding is one of the most important moments in people’s lives and means a beginning of a new life. As one of the non-verbal cultures, wedding customs have great significance of the development of economic globalization and culture multiplicity nowadays. Different regions and countries have different wedding customs. This paper firstly introduces the evolution of Chinese and American wedding customs from the traditional patterns to the modern ones. Then it tries to compare the differences between Chinese and American wedding customs to reflect the cultural differences between these two countries. The comparison is mainly from the aspects of wedding ceremony, wedding tone, wedding dress and wedding reception. And several reasons are used to indicate the difference of Sino-US wedding such as different historical backgrounds, family educations and values. Finally, by exploring the differences and fusion between Chinese and American wedding customs to reflect the development tendency of human society. Analyzing and discussing the differences and fusion of wedding customs can help us understand the significance of cross-cultural communication in deeper sense and have a better cross-cultural communication.

Key words: wedding custom; difference; fusion; cultural communication; significance

【摘 要】

婚礼是人们一生中重要的时刻，标志着新生活的开始。而婚礼习俗又是一种非语言文化，它对当今经济全球化与文化多元化的发展有着重要的意义。不同地域和国家间的婚礼有着不同的习俗。本论文主要通过对中国和美国婚礼习俗的介绍---从传统的婚礼习俗到现代婚礼习俗的演变，进而比较中美婚礼习俗的差异，从婚礼的仪式、色调、服饰及婚宴的不同来体现出两国的不同文化；从历史背景、文化模式、价值观等方面分析产生差异的原因。通过中美婚礼习俗的融合的探讨来体现人类社会的发展趋势，从而使人们对跨文化交流的意义有更深一层的认识，更好地进行跨文化交际。

【关键词】

婚礼习俗；差异；融合；文化交流;意义

Contents

Introduction......................................................................................................................................1 1. Chinese wedding customs............................................................................................................1 1.1 Chinese traditional wedding customs.....................................................................................2 1.2 Chinese modern wedding customs.........................................................................................2 1.2.1 Modern wedding ceremony..................................................................................................3 1.2.2 Various modern wedding.....................................................................................................4 2. American wedding customs.........................................................................................................4 2.1 American traditional wedding customs..................................................................................5 2.1.1 American traditional wedding customs...............................................................................5 2.1.2 American traditional wedding ceremony............................................................................5 2.1.3 American traditional wedding reception.............................................................................5 2.2 American modern wedding....................................................................................................6 3. Differences between Chinese and American wedding customs..................................................6 3.1 Different wedding ceremonies...............................................................................................6 3.2 Different wedding tones..................................................................................................................7 3.3 Different wedding dresses...............................................................................................................7 3.4 Different wedding receptions..........................................................................................................7 4. Reasons for the differences between Chinese and American wedding customs.........................8 4.1 The influence of historical and cultural backgrounds..........................................................8 4.2 The influence of different family educations.........................................................................8 4.3 The influence of different love and marriage concepts..........................................................9 4.4 The influence of different values............................................................................................9 4.5 The influence of different religious faiths............................................................................10 5. Fusion and trend of Chinese and American wedding customs..................................................10 5.1 Fusion of Chinese and American wedding customs....................................................................10 5.1.1 The wedding decorations...................................................................................................11 5.1.2 The wedding gowns................................................................................................................. 11 5.2 The future trend of wedding customs...........................................................................................11 6. The key point of cultural fusion.............................................................................................11 7. The methods of promoting cross-cultural communication...................................................... 11 Conclusion.....................................................................................................................................11 Bibliography...................................................................................................................................12

Introduction

As we all know, wedding plays an important role in people’s lives. From the ancient times to the present, wedding is a vital and touching event which is almost held in every society. As a country with a long history of civilization, China has unique traditional festival culture characteristics and a system of complex wedding customs. With the changing times, the wedding customs are developing from the complex wedding customs to the simple ones, from the traditional wedding customs in the feudal society to the modern wedding customs in a combination of Chinese and Western elements. Although many rituals and customs have been lost in course of history, some certain wedding customs are observed even today. While the United States is a country with more than two hundred years’ history which has a greater diversity of racial, ethnic, cultural and religious groups than any other nations on earth. Although the wedding customs as one of the cultures was affected by many countries, they have formed their unique characteristics.

Different regions and countries have different wedding customs. The diversity of wedding customs between China and American is a clash of culture. Due to the different historical and cultural backgrounds, love and marriage concepts, family educations and values, it shows some differences of wedding customs between the two countries, containing wedding ceremony, wedding tone, wedding dress and wedding reception, etc. As the time goes on, intercommunication and fusion of pluralistic culture is an inevitable trend and reality under the development of social civilization. In modern times, most of foreign people hold a wedding in Chinese style, while Chinese people in western style. It means that the forms of wedding are changing in people’s lives. The colliding and fusion between Chinese and American wedding indicate the development trend of human society.

Along with development of the globalization, it is increasingly significant for us to enhance cultural exchange with different countries. Since the reform and opening up to the outside world, China and most of countries in the world are also of increasing growth of economic, cultural communication and corporation. As one of the non-linguistic cultures, the differences of wedding customs between China and American become more obvious, and the fusion of pluralistic culture also have great effects on people’s lives. In order to have a better exchange of culture with Western people, expand our vision and know the meaning of cultural communication deeply, we should not neglect the differences and fusion of wedding customs.

1. Chinese wedding customs

Chinese marriage became a customs between 402-221BC. So the wedding customs are one of the common scenes in Chinese traditional culture of a long time. China is a united multi-ethnic country, but Chinese traditional wedding customs are based on the Han nationality wedding customs. Although different nationalities have different wedding ceremonies in China, making a happy and lively atmosphere is the purpose of wedding. In ancient times, “Three Letters and Six Etiquettes” was a basic principle in wedding. It was very significant for Chinese people to follow the etiquettes of wedding. In a word, “Three Letters and Six Etiquettes” was the essential process to the traditional marriage in China.

1.1 Chinese traditional wedding customs

In Chinese traditional wedding customs, “Three Letters” was the document used in the process of “Six Etiquettes” and marriage, including betrothal letter, gift letter and wedding letter, which was the valid record of protecting the marriage in ancient times. The betrothal letter was the formal document of the engagement, a necessary part in marriage. When a woman was

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engaged to a man, the groom’s families would give the betrothal letter to the bride’s family. The gift letter was the document of saluting which will be given to the identified girl’s family. The letter was a list of the types and quantities of gifts designated for the wedding; this part was accepted by the parties in the marriage. The wedding letter was a document which is prepared and presented to the bride’s family on the day of the wedding. This letter was a document that confirmed and celebrated the formal acceptance of the bride into the groom’s family.

According to Wang Junyun, the “Six Etiquettes” refers to the process which was from the proposing to the getting married. It includes six processes which are proposing, birthday matching, presenting betrothal gifts, and presenting wedding gifts, picking a wedding date and wedding ceremony. In traditional wedding, a matchmaker plays an important role in China. Proposing was the first step of traditional wedding. If an unmarried boy’s parents identified a girl as their future daughter-in-law, they would ask a matchmaker to go to girl’s family to propose a marriage. The matchmaker would formally present his or her client’s request to the identified girl’s parents. It was the custom that the first time matchmaker went as a guest they could not be served tea in order not to “lighten the marriage”. If the proposal was successful, however, the matchmaker would be rewarded with profuse gifts and feasts to show the two families’ gratitude. Many unmarried young people could not see and were unfamiliar with each other till their wedding day.

If the proposing was accepted by the girl’s parent, the next process is birthday matching. Birthday matching means that asking for girl’s name and birthdates. “Asking for a name” has the same meaning of birthday matching. The matchmaker would ask for the girl’s birthday and birth-hour then wrote down in a card. The man’s family would know the girl’s name and assure the compatibility of the potential between bride and groom. If the bride and groom’s birthdays and birth-hours coincided with each other in astrology, the marriage would continue onto the next step. If some signs of astrology conflicted, which means that the marriage would bring disasters or misfortune on both families, the proposed marriage would be canceled at once .What information the both families were interested can be known by the matchmaker during this process. The people of both families did not handle it. In traditional wedding customs, most of the marriages were arranged by the parents and matchmaker. It is not hard for us to see that the matchmaker was an essential part of traditional wedding in China.

Presenting betrothal gifts was the necessary part of traditional wedding in China. When the groom’s family received a card on which the girl’s birthday and birth-house are written, they would ask the fortune-tellers or ancestors to confirm whether the bride and groom match or not. If their birthday and birth-hour matched, the groom’s family would arrange the matchmaker to present the presenting betrothal gifts and give the betrothal letter to the bride’s family.

Presenting wedding gifts was the fourth process of wedding. After the bride’s family accepting the betrothal letter and the betrothal gifts, the bridegroom’s family would send wedding gifts and cash gift to the bride’s family before two or four weeks of the wedding date in China. At the same time, the bride’s family should give some gifts to the groom’s family.

Picking a wedding date means that the groom’s family can choose a lucky day as holding wedding ceremony which must be based on an astrologist or astrologic book. And then, the groom’s family should give some advice to the bride’s family. The both family would pay much attention to wedding preparation.

Wedding ceremony was the last process of the “Six Etiquettes” of traditional wedding. In the wedding day, the bride and groom will hold a wedding ceremony. Before this day the bride’s dowry would have been sent to the boy’s house. Dowry is mostly composed of daily necessities

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for the new home, such as bedding, lien and dining set, etc. The dowry represented her social status and wealth, and would be displayed at the boy’s house. Wedding ceremony began when the bride was escorted to the bride in the past. The bride wore a red cheongsam, as Chinese believed red foreshadowed delight, waiting for the groom, and the groom would wear a wedding suit and rode on a horse with the matchmaker, the bride’s relatives to go to the bride’s home. Before reaching the bride’s home, groom should go to a bride’s temple to worship ancestor. And then groom would use the sedan chair to carry the bride. On the arrival of the sedan at the wedding place, there would be music and firecrackers. In this lucky day, the new couple would bow three times to worship the heaven and earth, ancestral tables and their parents and spouse as a part of wedding ceremony. After finishing the wedding ceremony, the new couple would be sent to the new bridal chamber and guests would be treated to a feast.

After these “Six Etiquettes”, there were other traditional processes. On the night of the wedding day, there was a custom in some places that relatives or friends to banter the newlyweds. Though this process seemed a little noisy, both of them dropped shyness and got familiar with each other. On the third day of the marriage, the new couple would go back to the bride’s parents’ home. They would be received with also a dinner party including relatives. 1.2 Chinese modern wedding customs

With the development of society, people’s views of value have changed. Most of the modern wedding is losing the traditional wedding customs. In recent years (especially after the founding of modern China), people have tended to discard some of the details and advocate simplified marriage procedures and wedding ceremonies. Besides, influenced by the western wedding customs, those modern young people whose ideas are activity and pursue fashion tend to hold a Chinese wedding combined with Western element. So a wedding well matched with Chinese and Western is common in modern Chinese wedding custom nowadays. Generally speaking, Chinese modern custom go through three steps: free love, engagement and marriage. But some countrymen still follow some traditional wedding customs in China. 1.2.1 Modern wedding ceremony

Wedding ceremonies organized generally fall into three categories: Chinese-style, Western- style and a Chinese-Western combination. Before the wedding day, people will prepare for it. The preparation of wedding includes choosing date and place, sending wedding invitation, purchasing wedding articles, having wedding photograph, reserving wedding feast and wedding car, etc. Following are mainly talked about modern wedding ceremony processes.

On the wedding day, nowadays, the bridesmaid will have most fun during the picking up of the bride. Early in the morning, the groom and the groomsmen will decorate the cars and drive them over to the bride’s home. At the door, the bridesmaids will prepare a lot of tricky questions for the groom to answer. The groom not only has to answer all the questions, but also has to perform certain acts such as doing push-ups to show that he’s strong enough to take care of the bride, or sing out his love for the bride in front of many people. The groomsmen will help the groom to pass all these tests. The last test is a financial test. The groom has to pay the bridesmaids some‘red packets’ [good fortune] as gifts, then the groom and his groomsmen can enter the house and greet the bride.

Arriving at the groom’s home, the bride will serve tea to the groom’s parents and relatives in sequence of seniority. Those who receive the tea usually give the bride gifts in return .The gifts are often jewelry or Li Shi money wrapped in red envelops.

A typical combination-style ceremony will have the bride, dressed in white, escorted by her father along a red carpet to the waiting bridegroom where rings are exchanged in front of family

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and friends. This is followed by a wedding banquet at which the bride switches to wearing a traditional red cheongsam, a gown with side slits, and her husband at her side toasts the guests. The events in a Chinese wedding banquet have been modified a bit nowadays. Before the banquet starts, most of the guests will participate in one of the Chinese national games, mahjong [a Chinese tile game]. Others will take photos with the bride and the groom. When the food is ready, the waiters will play a modified xylophone and wedding music will start to play in the background. Due to With Western influence, the best man and maid of honor gets to toast the bride and the groom before food is being served. During the serving of shark fin soup, the couple will go from table to table, toasting the guests and thanking them. In return, the guests will also toast the bride and the groom. After that, the groomsmen, bridesmaids and friends of the young couple will often play certain tricks on them. This is similar to the clinking of glasses in the Western culture. The goal is to make the groom show his love in public. Some of the games are X-rated, depending what kind of friends the couple has. Some games are similar to the ones played in during bridal shower. Others may be a bit more outrageous.

1.2.2 Various modern weddings

As time goes on, there are increasingly forms of wedding which are family-type wedding, collective-type wedding, tourism-type wedding and dancing-type wedding, etc.

The family wedding can choose the wedding date by themselves which is a free style of wedding. People can arrange the active content in their wedding. The collective-type wedding is that more and more new couple would hold the wedding ceremony at a same place in a same lucky day. Sometimes the organizer of collective-type wedding can be one organizer or some organizers. Most of people are familiar with tourism wedding. The bride and groom travel to other places as a wedding ceremony, which is called tourism wedding. This new style of wedding has increasingly developed in these recent years. Hot performance scenes are the main character of dancing wedding which is a happy, lively and economic way of holding wedding. Dancing is regarded as a main celebration way in dancing wedding. Those who can not dance will applaud, sing happy song or show any other entertainments.

2. American wedding customs

The United States is a multi-ethnic nation, so some of the wedding customs derived from other countries in the past centuries, and are distinct from each other. Weddings in the United States vary as much as the people do. There are church weddings with a great deal of fanfare; there are weddings on mountain-tops with guests barefooted; and there have been weddings on the ocean floor with oxygen tanks for the guests. But many weddings, no matter where or how they are performed, some certain traditional customs are still followed. Before a couple is married, they should be engaged. And then invitations are sent to those who live nearby, their close friends and their relatives who live far away. When everything is ready, then comes the most exciting moment.

2.1 American traditional wedding customs

2.1.1 American traditional wedding customs

According to the traditional wedding customs, some procedures should be done before getting marriage. Traditionally, the man must ask for the permission of his girlfriend’s father. If he agrees, the man can make a proposal for his girlfriend with a ring. Holding an engagement is not an ignored step. The man usually gives his fiancée a diamond ring as the symbol of their engagement. Then, the process of preparing for the formal wedding is printing and sending

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announcements or invitations, decorating the church and so on. Among the many superstitions concerning the wedding ceremony is the custom that the groom must not see his bride even bridal wedding gown before the wedding ceremony.

The veil is not just as a decoration of wedding dress. According to the tradition, the veil had a protection role which could cover the bride’s face to confuse those around evil demon in hiding. The bridesmaids stood around bride to mislead the evil which one was the bride. So groomsman had the same effect of safeguard with bridesmaid.

“Something old, new, borrowed and blue” is a popular bridal attire rhyme. This can be traced back to the Victorian Age. “Something old” is that the bridal veil should have been used by her mother or grandmother. It represents the guests in attendance at the ceremony that has been already married. “Something new” means that the wedding gown is new which is also represents the newlyweds and the beginning of their new life together. “Something borrowed” stands for the bride can borrow a handkerchief or jewelry from other happy people. “Something blue” is associated with the bride’s virginity and purity. It can be the blue garters for the bride. The groom wears a formal suit or tuxedo. Something silver is any type of silver coin that is tucked into one of the bride’s shoes to represent wealth and prosperity. 2.1.2 American traditional wedding ceremony

When everything is ready, the most exciting moment will begin. The guests are sitting on both sides of the corridor in the church. As the ceremony begins, the groom stands with the minister, facing the audience. The bride carries a bunch of flowers and takes her father’s arm. They walk through the corridor to the altar slowly. And then the bride’s father takes his daughter’s hand to the groom. The groom stands at the left side and the bride at the right side. The young couple repeats their vows. Traditionally, they promise to love each other, for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness or in health. After taking an oath, the bride and groom can exchange rings which symbolize eternity, endlessness… thus a never-ending marriage. Rings can be made of gold, platinum and other metals. Some are encrusted with jewels to signify the value of a couple’s love. Finally the minister announces the groom and bride are husband and wife. After the ceremony they step out of the church hand in hand in the music. The newlyweds will leave the church in a car which is decorated with balloons, streamers and shaving cream. The words “Just Married” are painted on the trunk or back window. The bride and groom run to the car under a shower of rice thrown by the wedding guests. When the couple drives away from the church, friends often chase them in cars, honking and drawing attention to them. 2.1.3 American traditional wedding reception

After a ceremony, there is a party called reception. It can offer an opportunity for the guests to congratulate on the new couple. For the participants, all kinds of delicious foods will be more attractive than the newlyweds. Wedding cakes are not just dessert to be served to guests during reception. Wedding cakes are also usually white, to symbolize purity. In ancient Rome, the wedding cake should be put on the bride’s head before eating the cakes. But now the traditional customs are not followed. The wedding cake is cut together by the couple during the wedding reception. Then the husband and wife exchange bites of the cake. This is the first act the couple does together as husband and wife. The sweet wedding cake symbolizes caring and nurturance between the couple.

And then, the bride often stands the centre of a chair in the room and throws her bouquet of flowers to the unmarried lady at the reception. Throwing the bouquet of flowers is lucky for the bride and indicates the girl who catches the bouquet will be next to get married. No matter

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who catches the bouquet, she should carry a piece of cake and put it beside the pillow before she sleep, and then the girl would dream her future husband at that night.

When the reception is over, it’s the time for the new couple to go to a trip of honeymoon. In United States, whether the new couple will decide to go on a trip all depend on their bodies, hobbies and the time. Some people would like to stay a night in the nearby hotel while others may spend at least two weeks going to the foreign countries to relax themselves.

2.2 American modern wedding

Today’s wedding ceremony in the United States can be rather elaborate affair, especially among the affluent, but small backyard wedding are also common. It is becoming more and more common for American couple to write their own wedding vows, express their love and commitment for each other in their own words and express their own unique feelings.

Although some American follow the traditional wedding, a special and free style of weddings are adopted in the modern time. The newlyweds have a new modern style for their wedding and regard their values as the new standard of the fashion wedding especially after the 9.11 attacks. Actually, the newlyweds hold the wedding ceremony in the church, but some in the outdoor. The park, the forests, the beaches and the top of mountains are the excellent place to hold a wedding. With the beautiful and attractive scene, the new couple can compose the wedding songs and read the poet of love to express their love for each other. There are weddings on mountain-tops with guests in bare feet; and there have been weddings on ocean floor with oxygen tanks for the guests. Although the bride and groom get married in different forms of wedding, actually, they compose their best meaningful and happy chapter in their lives.

According to He Dan, the writer found that the newlyweds can invite hundreds of guests or several best friends. Sometimes the wedding tone, decoration and wedding music are decided by the new couple. The bride can wear a white wedding dress. In modern time, the newlyweds hold wedding ceremony before God. No matter what the wedding form is, it always relates to the traditional wedding customs in America.

3. Differences between Chinese and American wedding customs

Wedding is becoming a hot topic for us to talk about for a long time. We are accustomed to the exciting wedding in Chinese style, but sometimes we are attracted by the romantic wedding of Western. According to the above descriptions of the wedding customs between China and America, it is clear for us to know there are many differences of wedding customs between China and America. The obvious differences of wedding customs between the two countries can be discussed in details as follows.

3.1 Different wedding ceremonies

Wedding ceremony is one of the differences between Chinese and American wedding customs. In China, the wedding ceremony was complex in ancient time while the American was simpler. In ancient China, the groom would take the bride to his home by the wedding sedan. When the bride arrived, the newlyweds would have bow rites in wedding. First, bow to heaven and earth, then to their parents. Finally, the newlyweds should bow to each other. After bowing ceremony, the new couple would enter bridal chamber to finish the wedding ceremony. Chinese traditional wedding was conducted under the matchmaker. Whether in the past or in the present, the broom could not pick up the bride easily. The bride’s family members, relatives and friends will try all ways to prevent him from picking up the bride. For example, if the bride wants to get in, he should give money wrapped in red envelop to bride bride’s family members, relatives and

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friends. The rituals means that bride’s family not willing to let the bride leave and let the broom cherish the bride in the future.

In America, the wedding is regarded as romantic and solemn. The wedding ceremony is usually held in the church. When the ceremony begins, it is bride’s father takes the bride by the hand and sends her to the groom before the clergyman with the wedding music. The newlyweds would promise to spend the rest of their lives together under the conduct of the priest. After that, they would change rings and kiss each other with the wishes of their relatives and friends. 3.2 Different wedding tones

Color has played an important part in the planning of wedding. Red is the traditional Chinese symbol of joy and is a theme repeated in the wedding clothing and other ritual wedding objects. In traditional wedding ceremony, it needs to hang red lanterns and red couplets in the newlyweds’ house. At the same time, the bride should wear the red clothes, phoenix coronet and red silk, while the groom would wear long gown and cap. All the things in wedding are beaming. Although there are lots of wedding forms, the red color is the main color in Chinese wedding.

While in the USA, the white color is the main color in American wedding. In the American wedding, people can see that the American like the white color in the wedding dress, bridal chamber decoration and so on. Actually, they believe that white color is pure and nobleness. For instance, there are white bridal dress, white wedding cake, white bridal car and so on .All the white items will be the most popular decorations in western-style wedding.

3.3 Different wedding dresses

The wedding dress is an obvious distinction in their wedding customs between the two countries. It is easy for us to realize that the red color is the main tone of wedding in China for red color stands for happiness and luck. In traditional wedding day, the bride wears the phoenix coronet, red veil and red clothes, waiting for the groom in the red bridal sedan chair. While the groom in the red clothes rides a horse with a tied ribbon in red to go to the bride’s home. There are some decorations in bride and groom’s wedding clothes which stand for the blessings by other people. Although different decorations have different meanings in their wedding ceremony, all of them stand for luck. Although nowadays, Chinese people are influenced by western customs and also wear white bridal veil, most Chinese people still retain the traditional cultures. During the ceremony or banquet, they may wear white bridal veil, and then they will wear the red cheongsam or any other traditional wedding clothes.

In the United States, the groom wears a formal suit or black tuxedo which makes wedding graver .While the bride wears a white bridal veil and white gloves in the wedding day. The white color stands for beauty and sanctity. “Something old, new, borrowed and blue” is a feature of traditional bridal veil in America. In modern times, the bridal veil is becoming a part of wedding culture. In order to retain their wedding culture, more and more people wear bridal veil in wedding ceremony and will preserve their bridal veil to inherit. So the bridal veils become a beautiful collection in America.

3.4 Different wedding receptions

After holding a wedding ceremony, many people will attend the wedding reception. It is a common wedding custom to have a dinner when the bride and groom get married. Different countries have a different food culture, so the wedding reception has a different style.

In China, to parents, the wedding feast is a chance for them to return their relative’s kindness and to announce the marriage of their kids. In Chinese wedding reception, the participants will have a wedding dinner in each round table. In ancient times, the groom should propose a toast to

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the participants in each table of wedding reception, while the bride was waiting for the groom in her new house. Nowadays, the groom and bride will receive their relatives and friends in wedding reception and propose a toast to each of them. Certain types of food are commonly served at the Chinese wedding banquet, which include snacking pig; chicken cooked with red oil, desert burn with lots seeds, stuffed inside. In China, groom’s and bride’s family hold the wedding banquet respectively. And the groom’s family pays for the cost of wedding.

Unlike China, according to American customs, wedding should be given by bride’s family. The American wedding reception is almost self-service which can satisfy with different requests of different people and avoid wasting any food. The participants can take their seats and take what food they like. This kind of food varies, depending on the cultural heritage of the couple. The American people pay attention to the emotional appeal sentiment, so the wine was the first choice for them to drink in wedding reception. The wedding reception has a special mode. For example, after the first dance, the groom will send the bride to her father. The bride will dance with her father. In the wedding reception, the new couple and the participants dance with the lively and happy music. The American wedding reception has a happy and romantic atmosphere; all of the members get together to attend this party.

4. Reasons for the differences between Chinese and American wedding customs 4.1 The influence of historical and cultural background

As we all know, China is a socialist country which is made up of 56 ethnic groups. Throughout the long history, the traditional culture has occupied an important position. People had to comply with feudal patriarchate and feudal ethics. In Chinese traditional wedding, people are influenced deeply by Confucianism. The wedding customs are characterized by patriarchal clan system.

The United States is a capitalist country with more than two hundred years history. The wedding customs are affected deeply by their unique history and culture origins, unidirectional thinking pattern and special historical development factors. It is emphasized that both American man and woman are God’s son and daughter, while Chinese wedding pays more attention to man.

Different history and cultural backgrounds make American open-minded and independent, while Chinese conservative and old-fashioned. Chinese people like the sense of bustle and excitement. And these two typical characters can be fully manifested in the wedding customs. Chinese always invite many friends and relatives to participant in the lively and solemn wedding in a capacious place, while American hold a simple, romantic and grave wedding in the church with fewer friends and relatives.

4.2 The influence of different love and marriage concepts

In China, marriage is the whole family things rather than personal thing. In the feudal society, law and discipline rite is much more important than anything such as love. Although people also realize that true love is wonderful, but their true love always has contact with the filial piety and fraternal duty. In feudal society, a marriage would be decided not by a young couple’s love, but by their parents’ desires. Only after a matchmaker’s introduction, parents considered the two family conditions were similar and could be matched, would the marriage procedures go forward. The young people were not entitled the right to express his marriage ideas, let alone decision about their own marriage. Once the new couple engaged, if the bride and groom did not meet each, they may want to know or ask about their Mr. Right who will live

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together in all lifetime. During the process, the true love may come. In Chinese traditional society, the main purpose of marriage was to continue the family bloodline and attend to the parents-in-law. So during the wedding the new couple should go though some certain procedures and etiquettes to obtain recognition from society and other people.

Of course, with the development of society, the younger generation no longer subject to the Chinese traditional ideas bondage. Many people are free to love and married their true love for themselves, whom has a similar personality or hobby. And some cockamamie processes have been abbreviated during wedding.

Chinese people are obliged to get married, while marriage in America is personal rights mastered by people. It is not a form or a duty. Once they both reach the legal ages, the third party has no rights to interfere in the freedom of their marriage. In America, pursuing the true love is one of the most important life goals. Most of American people believe that love is the first factor of keeping a good marriage. And yet, romance is put in the first position in love. Although the divorce rate seems to remain high but not fall, people in America claim that love is existing. If they can not find their true love in the first time, they believe that it may find their true love in the next time.

4.4 The influence of different values

Chinese people hold collective values which are much important than individual values. When the individualism and collectivism are conflicted, the individualism should be given up to protect the collectivism. In ancient times, marriage was regarded as the principal matter of family, rather than a personal matter. The purpose of marriage was to have children, to maintain and improve the family fame and position. So the marriage was closely connected with family. Considering of family benefits, people always ignored their true feelings. The value of self-sacrifice putted the benefit of the group above that of the individual.

The American people advocate that individual values are higher than all. It stands to reason that American people pursue personal development and gain individual benefits. The individual benefits and individual freedom are not controlled by others. So people in American have a free life style without being controlled by other people. For marriage, they choose someone as their mate on the basis of their own ideas but not the whole family’s benefit or family’s reputation. Besides, it is emphasized that both American man and woman are God’s son and daughter, and every one in America is equal. However, in Chinese feudal society, women and men actually in practice are not equal. Woman should be obedient to man, and the personal interests to the family. Chinese wedding pay more attention to man. So some traditional customs and taboos are actually set for woman such as “Striding fire pan”.

4.5 The influence of family educations

The American generally believes that the kids are dependent individual when they are born. People including their parents and friends can not control the children’s behaviors. Even in any cases, people should consider carefully what they say, understand and respect the children. The Chinese parents enable their kids to submit to them. However, American parents take great pains to design their children’s future and pay attention to their development without controlling. According to Larry A. Samovars and Richard E. Porter, the writers found that this family education will develop the children’s independent ability and adaptive capacity of various kinds of situation. The young people have their own requirements and standards of love and marriage. So when they have troubles about marriage, they do not ask their parents for help. How to hold a

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wedding is decided by themselves but not other people. They expense for wedding according to their abilities and income.

On the contrary, Chinese parents are over worried about their children for fear that the child would be hurt and do not pay attention to their independent ability. In China, it is a generally acknowledge that Chinese parents overly concerned about the studies and lives of children. They prepare and arrange everything for their children, including seeking a daughter-in-law or a son-in law and holding a wedding ceremony. It is not difficulty to draw the conclusion that Chinese parents are responsible for studying, living and marriage of their children.

4.6 The influence of different religious faiths

No matter the Chinese or the western wedding customs, the differences between them are also related to the different religious faiths. In the ancient time, people went through various worships to pray the god and ancestors for blessing. So it is not hard to understand that why the new couples should go through the process of bowing to the heaven, the ancestor and parents during the “Six Etiquettes” process. Even now, people still regard the “the three worships” as an indispensable process.

While in America, most people believe in Christianity. Wedding, one of the seven “Holy Ritual” set by Jesus, is a very important ritual in Christianity. Christian believes that newlywed is not married unless they hold a wedding in the church under the conduct of priest. It is necessary for them to swear a marriage oath under the grave atmosphere. The oath is that “I_ will take you_, to be my wedded wife/husband. To have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness or in health, to love and to cherish till death do us part. And hereto I pledge you my faithfulness.” Followed are the process of exchanging rings and kissing each other.

5. Fusion and future trend of Chinese and American wedding customs

With the rapidly development of economy and the improvement of international communication, the different cultures between China and America are collided and fused under the global integration environment. The cultural integration is the inevitable outcome of the cultural development. The evolution of the Sino-Us wedding customs is the necessity of historical development, which reflects the development of human society.

5.1 The fusion of wedding customs

The wedding customs are one of the parts of cultural encyclopedia in different traditional cultures and historical backgrounds between China and America. It is well known that China is a country with extensive cultures of 5,000 years history. Compared with Chinese wedding customs, America wedding customs are changing with the enhancing of society. With the development of society and frequent intercultural communication, the Chinese wedding in Western style and Western wedding in Chinese style are more and more popular with people. It is not hard to see that the forms of wedding are changing and fusing. The fusion of wedding customs reflects the abundance of wedding culture and the colliding and fusion of culture between China and America.

Because the exoticism and romantic wedding, many Chinese people appreciate the Western wedding style and like to hold a Western wedding ceremony in the modern society. However, some western foreign people are interested in Chinese culture and wedding ceremony in Chinese style. Sometimes the groom in Western takes the bride by bridal sedan in wedding day on

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account of the mystical and traditional wedding which has thousands of years of history and culture in China. Following are two aspects of the fusion of wedding customs.

5.1.1 The wedding decorations

The Chinese wedding is increasingly popular in the world. Some foreigners hold the wedding ceremony in Chinese style in China. It is a normal phenomenon that a foreign groom brings his bride by the Wedding Sedan. Although the wedding decorations are Western style, some of them indicate the Chinese element in their wedding. The wedding decorations combine with the mysterious, natural and exquisite feature of orient and express the comfortable feeling in the wedding ceremony, thus the participants of party can relax themselves. For example, the wedding invitations with Chinese calligraphy are used in Western wedding. 5.1.2 The wedding gown

Nowadays bride usually has two sets of dress of wedding gown in the wedding day. In generally, the first wedding dress is white bridal veil which can show the bride pure and elegant. In the wedding reception, the bride wore the second wedding dress when she proposed a toast to the guests. This second wedding gown is red cheongsam. Many people know that the atmosphere of wedding ceremony differs from the wedding reception. The white bridal veil suits the sacred wedding while the red wedding gown is appropriate for the wedding reception. Those about wedding gown indicate the fusion of the Chinese and Western wedding customs.

5.2 The future trend of wedding

Nowadays, the modern wedding is increasingly developing all around the world. Comparing with the ancient times, some of the complex wedding ceremonies have been discarded and the new wedding forms have produced. With the communication of the cultures, people learn some foreign cultures and use the Western elements in wedding. However, their traditional customs will be retained. It is obviously that people pay attention to the cultural charm, but also pursues the romantic atmosphere. The fusion of different culture makes the modern wedding characteristic.

According to the modern wedding characteristics, we can forecast the wedding development trend. On one hand, with the frequent communication between counties, wedding customs will constantly merge, and various forms will coexist in a wedding. In the future, people will pay more attention on the spiritual enjoyment, so they tend to hold a wonderful wedding under the multicultural atmosphere. On the other hand, personalized wedding is another main trend in the future. The various lifestyles are making contemporary young people’s wedding idea develop in the direction of convenient, simple, romantic and personalized. A lot of people will try to apply their creativity and imagination to hold an inexpensive, elegant, individual and well-appreciated wedding.

6. The key point of cultural fusion

The differences and fusion of wedding customs in China and America belong to one part of cultural conflict and fusion. Besides, we know that the cultural fusion is the trend of the development of human history. With doubt, cultural fusion will have positive effects on promoting common development of culture. However, cultural fusion also leads to the lost of native cultural characteristics. Therefore, the fusion of different cultures is not to copy others’ culture totally and make all the cultures identical, but to reserve our special characters of culture and absorb the quintessence of other cultures. Moreover, we can also popularize our own Chinese culture by this way.

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7. The ways of promoting cross-cultural communication

In view of the importance of cultural fusion, it is necessary for us to promote cultural exchange. We should actively participate in the cultural exchange, establish mutual trust and change our attitude towards learning and adapt to the culture from other countries, avoid cultural superiority of self cultures. When we receive the culture of other countries, we should overcome our own cultural pattern, understand and accept trading rules, mode of thinking and values.

Due to the different races and places, there are some differences in the thoughts and behaviors between Chinese and Western countries. It is also necessary for us to have cross-cultural awareness to understand and recognize the differences of culture deeply and treat the differences correctly. In intercultural communication, we should understand the culture, overcome the interference and strengthen the cross-cultural awareness. Conclusion

To sum up, it is not difficult for us to draw the conclusion that the wedding customs between China and America are different. Obviously, the diversity of wedding customs is mainly referred to the wedding ceremony, wedding tone, wedding dresser and wedding reception. All these differences are attributed to the two countries’ distinctive historical and cultural backgrounds, love and marriage concepts, family educations, values and religious faiths. In the age of information and communication, the collision and fusion of diversity of wedding customs are the result of the development of modern society. The differences and fusion in Chinese and American wedding customs reflects the development trend of human being. In addition, it is significant for people to understand, acknowledge and treat the differences of culture. Inheriting the traditional cultures and learning the foreign cultures can help people take best use of advantages and bypass the disadvantages.

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