真是难以置信 已过了半个小时
Unbelievable! It's been half an hour.
如果这是卡通片
If this was a cartoon,
我看你都该跟火腿一个样了
you'd look like a ham right about now.
-侍者在那 嗨 小姐 -是菲比
- There's the waitress. Hello, miss! - It's Phoebe!
你们就点这些吗
Okay, will that be all?
等等 你来这儿干什么
Wait. What are you doing here?
我本来在那 然后你叫 \"嗨 小姐\"
I was over there. Then you said, \"Hello,miss.\"
所以我就过来了
So I'm here.
不 你怎么会在这儿工作
No, how come you're working here?
因为这离我的住处很近
Because it's close to where I live,
而且围裙也很漂亮
and the aprons are cute.
-可以重来吗 -好的 我到那边去
- Can we start over? - Okay, I'm gonna be over here.
我叫不准他是在考验我还只是有样学样
I don't know whether he's testing me...or just acting out,
但我的猴子已经失控了
... but my monkey is out of control!
他不断清除我答录机上的留言
He keeps erasing the messages on my machine.
应该是个意外
Supposedly by accident.
是啊 我做过这种事
Oh, yeah, I've done that.
然后他连续三天赶在我看报纸前
And then, like three days in a row he got to the newspaper before I did,
在猜字游戏上尿尿
...and peed all over the crossword!
这我没做过
I've never done that.
行了 现在看着她 你敢说
All right, now look at her and tell me
她跟她姐姐长得不是一模一样吗
she doesn’t look exactly like her sister.
我看到不同之处
I'm saying I see a difference.
她们是双胞胎
They're twins.
我不管 菲比是菲比 厄休拉很火辣
I don't care. Phoebe's Phoebe. Ursula's hot!
你知道我们彼此之间无话不说的吧
You know the thing what we talk about each other about things?
-别再这么干了 -好吧
-Let's not do that anymore. - All right.
- 菲比 猜我们今天遇见谁 -真好玩
- Pheebs, guess who we saw today? - Oh, fun! Okay.
{\\an3\\fs16\\bord0\\fn微软雅黑\\fad(0,0)\\b0\\pos(374,247)}电影演员
-连恩·尼逊 -不是
- Liam Neeson. - No.
{\\an3\\fs16\\bord0\\fn微软雅黑\\fad(0,0)\\b0\\pos(374,247)}记者
-莫利·塞弗 -不是
- Morley Safer. - No.
-我的女理发师 -这么玩下去没完没了
- The lady who cuts my hair! - This could be a very long game.
-你姐姐 厄休拉 -真的吗
- Your sister, Ursula. - Oh, really?
-她在餐厅上班 -瑞菲餐厅 我知道
- She works at that place.... - Riff's. I know.
你知道吗 因为她说你们已多年不说话
You do? She said you guys haven't talked in years.
对 她胖吗
So, is she fat?
从我的角度看不会
Not from where I was standing.
你从什么角度
Where were you standing?
菲比 你们姐俩就是合不来吗
Pheebs, so you guys just don't get along?
这只是姐妹之间的事
It's mostly just dumb sister stuff.
大家都认为她比我漂亮
Everyone always thought of her as the pretty one.
她先学会走路
She was the first to walk
虽然我是在当天稍后学会的
even though I did it later that same day.
对我爸妈而言那就已经不新鲜了
But to my parents, by then it was, \"Yeah, what else is new?\"
菲比 抱歉 我得走了
Pheebs, I'm sorry. I've gotta go.
我得去学习无痛分娩法
I've got Lamaze class.
我得去参加地球科学班 健身房见了
And I've got earth science, but I'll catch you in gym?
-就你和卡罗尔吗 -不 苏珊也要去
- ls this just gonna be you and Carol? - Susan will be there too.
这样就有了爸爸还有女同志
We've got dads, we've got lesbians.
完美父母团
The whole parenting team.
这样不是会很奇怪
lsn't that gonna be weird?
不会的 一开始或许会
No. lt might have been at first...
现在我已坦然面对这个事实
... but now I'm comfortable with the whole situation.
-罗斯 那是我的外套 -我知道
- Ross, that's my jacket. - I know.
我们是罗斯特一家 我是洁西他叫迈克尔
Hi. We're the Rostens. I'm J. C. and he's Michael.
我怀的是龙凤胎
And we're having a boy and a girl.
厉害 下一位
Good for you. All right, next?
我叫罗斯 她怀的是我的儿子
I'm Ross Geller. And that's my boy in there.
她叫卡罗尔·威利克 这位是苏珊·本驰
And this is Carol Willick. And this is Susan Bunch.
苏珊是卡罗尔的...
Susan is Carol's....
下一位是谁
Who's next?
抱歉 苏珊是...
Sorry, Susan is...?
苏珊是卡罗尔的 卡罗尔的朋友
Susan is Carol's, Carol's, Carol's, friend...
-生活伴侣 -伙伴那种
- Life partner - Like buddies.
-恋人那种 -你知道女人能有多亲近的
- Like lovers. - You know how close women can get.
-我俩住在一起 -但我俩曾经结过婚
- Susan and I live together. - Although I was married to her.
-他跟卡罗尔 不是我 -有点复杂
- Carol, not me. - It's a bit complicated.
-但是我们能解决 -绝对的
- But we're fine. - Absolutely!
双胞胎啊 那得生两次吧
So, twins! That's like two births.
你也是 海伦
to you too, Helen.
-妮娜·布克宾德来访 -好 让她进来
- Nina Bookbinder is here to see you. - Okay, send her in.
-妮娜 快进来 -你想见我
-Nina. Come on in. -You wanted to see me?
我刚在复查你的数据
I was reviewing your data.
你一直推迟周五数据的日期
You've been postdating your Friday numbers.
这样很不好 因为...
Which is bad, because...?
这样使我的\"周净计\"出现问题
lt throws my WENUS out of whack.
-你说什么 -\"周净计\"
- Excuse me? - WENUS.
每周估计净值使用统计
Weekly Estimated Net Usage Statistics.
明白了 不会再犯了
Gotcha! Won't happen again.
我绝不会再让你的\"周净计\"出现问题
I wouldn't want to do anything to hurt your... \"wenus.\"
这不是她漂不漂亮的问题 只是...
It's not just that she's cute, okay It's just that...
她真的很漂亮
...she's really, really cute.
那也一样 兔子不吃窝边草
It doesn't matter. You don't dip your pen in the company ink.
罗斯 你的小动物又在玩遥控器
Ross, your little creature's got the remote again.
马赛尔 把遥控器给罗斯
Marcel, give Rossy the remote.
马塞尔
Marcel!
马塞尔 现在马上把遥控器给罗斯
Marcel, you give Rossy the remote right now!
把遥控器给罗斯
You give Rossy the remote
-这下好了 -放心 我会修好的
- Great. - Relax. I'll fix it.
乌克这个名字在西班牙文中叫\"乌克\"
Oh, cool! Urkel in Spanish is Urkel.
他是怎么办到的
How did he do this?
我问一句 圣诞彩灯还亮着
So tell me something, is leaving the Christmas lights up
是想让我们\"快乐\"一整年吗
part of your plan to keep us merry all year long?
不 某人在新年期间就应该把它摘下
No, someone was supposed to take them down around New Year's...
但她显然是忘了
but obviously someone forgot.
某人应该写个字条
Someone was supposed to write,
\"瑞秋 摘下圣诞灯\"
\"Rach, take down the lights\"...
然后贴在冰...
...and put it on the refrigera
它在这儿多久了
How long has that been there?
-你上哪儿去了 -瑞菲餐厅
- Where you been? - I went back to Riff's.
我想厄休拉喜欢我 我只点咖啡
I think Ursula likes me. I ordered coffee.
她却端给我鲔鱼和四盘的薯片
She brought me a tuna melt and four plates of curly fries.
有门了
Score.
她好辣
She is so hot!
在你展开乔伊\"招牌攻势\"前
Before you do anything Joey-like,
或许你要征求某人的同意
you might want to run it by....
-菲比 -说吧
- Pheebs? - Yeah.
我约你姐出去你会介意吗
Is it okay if I asked out your sister?
为什么 你为何要那样做 为什么
Why? Why would you want to do that? Why?
这样我跟她去约会时 她就会在我身边
So if we went out on a date, she'd be there.
好吧 反正我也管不了她
Well, I'm not my sister's, you know, whatever.
没错 我们曾来自同一枚卵子
And I mean, it's true, we were one egg once.
但我们渐行渐远 所以
But you know, we've grown apart so....
我不知道...有何不可
I don't know. Why not?
酷 谢啦
Cool. Thanks.
-你还好吧 -还好
- You okay? - Yeah, I'm fine.
你想看《拉乌妮和舍丽》吗
Do you wanna watch Laverney Shirley?
{\\an3\\fs16\\bord0\\fn微软雅黑\\fad(0,0)\\b0\\pos(374,247)}八十年代美国情景喜剧
抱歉
Sorry.
抱歉我迟到了 卡罗尔在哪儿
Hi. Sorry I'm late. Where's Carol?
学校有事 她得见见家长
Stuck at school. Some parent-teacher thing.
你可以走了 我留下来上课
You can go. I'll get the information.
不...我应该留下来
No, I think I should stay.
我们两个都该留下来上课
We should both know what's going on.
很好 一定会很有意思的
Oh, good. This will be fun.
首先是第三阶段基本呼吸练习
We're gonna start with some basic third-stage breathing exercises.
各位妈妈请躺下
Moms, get on your back.
陪护们支撑妈妈们的头
And coaches, you should be supporting Mommy's head.
-怎么 -怎么
- What? - What?
我该当妈妈吗
I'm supposed to be the mommy?
好吧 我再拿精子说一次事
I'll play my sperm card once more.
听着 我认为
Look, I don’t see
我不能错过这次陪护训练
why I should have to miss out on the coaching training
就因为我是个女人
just because I'm a woman.
-了解 你说该怎么办 -掷硬币
-I see. So, what do we do? - I'll flip you for it.
掷铜板吗 不不不...我选头...
Flip me for it? No, no. Heads!
躺下吧 妈妈
On your back, Mom!
各位妈妈们 请深呼吸净化身心
All right,mommies, take a nice deep, cleansing breath.
很好
Good.
现在请想像你的阴道像花一样绽放
Now imagine your vagina is opening like a flower.
-迪先生 如何 -好多了
- Mr. D! How's it going, sir? - It's been better.
年度净值已经算出来了
The Annual Net Usage Statistics are in.
-然后呢 -奇惨无此
-And? - It's pretty ugly.
70年代之后没见过这么惨的\"年净\"
We haven't seen an ANUS this bad since the '70s.
-这代表什么 -每个部门都得裁员
- What does this mean? - We'll be laying off people in every department.
听我解释 我知道我上星期迟到了
Hey, listen, I know I came in late last week,
但我那天睡姿不良 头发奇丑无比
but I slept funny, and my hair was very very...
不是你 放松
Not you. Relax.
曾经不得不开除某人吗
Ever have to fire anyone?
妮娜
Nina!
妮娜
Nina.
妮娜
Nina.
妮娜
Nina.
你没事吧
Are you okay?
是的 我没事
Yes. Yes, I am.
听着 我今天叫你进来是因为...
Listen, the reason that I called you in here today was....
请别恨我
Please don't hate me.
怎么了
What?
能约你共进晚餐吗
Would you like to have dinner sometime?
菲比 你想要什么生日礼物
So, Pheebs, what do you want for your birthday?
我想要我妈复活和我共享人生
What I want is for my mom to be alive and enjoy it with me.
好吧 这样吧
Okay. Let me put it this way.
想不想要瑰珀翠的产品
Anything from Crabtree & Evelyn?
{\\an3\\fs16\\bord0\\fn微软雅黑\\fad(0,0)\\b0\\pos(374,247)}英国彩妆护肤品牌
-我想要浴盐 -好的
- Bath salts would be nice! - Okay! Good.
这是什么地方
What is this place?
你很冷 我想尿尿 而且...
Look, you’re cold, I have to pee, and...
窗上还印着杯咖啡
there’s a cup of coffee on the window.
还有比这更糟的吗
How bad could it be?
我想我们有答案了
I think we have an answer.
她怎么会在这儿
Why is she here?
也许这就是老天爷叫我们回家吃饭的方法
This could be God's way of telling us to eat at home.
她被瑞菲餐厅开除了吗
Think Riff's fired her?
不 昨晚我们还在那吃饭
No, we were there last night.
她不断端来剑鱼
She kept... bringing swordfish.
你不是要去...
Are you gonna go to the...?
不 点完之后再去
No, I'll wait till we order.
-是她吧 -看起来像
- It's her. - lt looks like her.
-打扰一下 -什么事
- Excuse me? - Yeah.
是我们啊
Hi, it's us!
好呀 是我
Right. And it's me!
-你也在这儿 -和你们一样
- So you're here too? - As much as you are.
该你了
Your turn.
-我们知道我们要什么 -很好
- We know what we want. - That's good.
-我们要两杯拿铁 -还有意大利脆饼
- Two caffe lattes. - And some biscotti.
不错的选择
Good choice.
-绝对是她 -没错
- It's definitely her. - Yeah.
我真不敢相信 你还没告诉她她失业了
I can't believe you haven't told that girl she doesn't have a job.
你还没把圣诞灯拿下来
You haven't taken down the Christmas lights.
恭喜 你发现了世上最薄弱的论点
Congratulations! You've found the world's thinnest argument.
我只是在寻找适当的时机
I'm finding the right moment.
应该不会太难找到 因为你们已开始约会
That shouldn't be so hard now that you're dating.
\"亲爱的 你被开除了
\"Honey, you're fired.
\"我上班前何不来个\"速战速决\"\"
\"But how about a quickie before I go to work?\"
进门后就不用再敲门了
Once you're inside, you don't have to knock anymore.
我来开
I'll get it.
-哈克斯先生 -你们又来了
- Hi, Mr. Heckles. - You're doing it again.
我们什么都没做 我们只是坐在这聊天
We're not doing anything. We're sitting and talking...
...一声不吭
...quietly.
我可以透过天花板听见
I can hear you through the ceiling.
我的猫睡不着
My cats can't sleep.
-你根本没养猫 -我原本有机会养
- You don't even have cats. - I could have cats.
-再见 哈克斯先生 -我们会尽量小声的
- Goodbye, Mr. Heckles. - We'll try to keep it down.
菲比 帮个忙 试穿看看
Phoebe, do me a favor. Try this on.
我想知道合不合身
I want to make sure it fits.
我的第一件生日礼物 这衣服真...
My first birthday present! This is really
不 是送厄休拉的 我只是想知道尺寸
No, no, it's for Ursula. I just figured size-wise....
好呀 合身
Sure. Yeah. Okay, it fits.
你今晚又和她约会吗
Are you seeing her again tonight?
对 去看白雪溜冰团
Yep, lce Capades.
这回你是来真的
This is serious.
没想到你会花钱去看什么溜冰表演
I've never known you to pay for any kind of \"capade.\"
我不知道 我喜欢她
I don't know. I like her.
她与众不同 她有种特质
She's different. There's something about her
招你喜欢 我们懂 你喜欢她 太好了
That you like. We get it. You like her. Great!
菲比 我问过你而你也同意了
Phoebe, I asked you. You said it was okay.
也许现在不同意了
Maybe now it's not okay.
也许我对于你的不同意也不同意了
Okay. Maybe now I'm not okay with it not being okay.
好吧
Okay!
快织 好女人 快织
Knit, good woman, knit!
克莱斯勒大楼就在那儿
And that's the Chrysler Building right there.
-妮娜 -道格拉斯先生 领带不错
- Nina! - Mr. Douglas. Cool tie.
她还在这里
She's still here.
没错 她还在 我没有提醒你吗
Yes. Yes, she is. Didn't I memo you on this?
我开除她后 接到她心理医生的电话
After I let her go, I got a call from her psychiatrist,
佛...佛...佛林大夫
Dr. Flennan Dr. Flennan Dr. Flynn.
他告诉我她一时无法接受这个事实
And he informed me that she took the news rather badly.
老实说 他提到\"狂暴\"这个词
In fact, he mentioned the word \"frenzy.\"
开什么玩笑 她明明看起来...
You're kidding! She seems so
不 妮娜她...
No. Nina? She's
事实上 如果你现在问她
In fact, if you asked her now...
她根本记不得被开除这件事
...she'd have no recollection of being fired at all.
-难以置信 -你不得不信
- That's unbelievable. - And yet believable.
因此我决定不再开除她
So I decided not to fire her again
直到她对自己和他人不构成威胁为止
until she'll be no threat to herself or others.
看来人们永远无法了解他人心中所想
I guess you never know what's going on inside a person's head.
我想这就是\"心理学\"名字的由来 先生
Well, I guess that's why they call it psychology, sir.
爸妈永远忘不了这声音
The sound Mom and Dad will never forget.
这一切 说到底 是生产的奇迹
For this, after all, is the miracle of birth.
请开灯 这一集是生宝宝
Lights, please. And that's having a baby.
下周是我们的最后一堂课
Next week is our final class.
苏珊 准备接球
Susan, go deep.
-这太离谱了... -怎么了亲爱的
- It's just impossible. - What is, honey?
那个女人的所作所为
What that woman did.
我不会这么做的 他得留在我体内
I am not doing that. It'll just have to stay in.
一切和原来一样 他得留在我体内
Everything will be the same. It'll just stay in.
卡罗尔 亲爱的 不会有事的
Carol, honey, it'll be all right.
你知道什么
What do you know?
又没人问你,
No one's asking you,
\"我能将这肉块穿过你的鼻孔吗\"
\"Mind if we push this pot roast through your nostril?\"
卡罗尔 亲爱的 深呼吸
Carol, sweetie. Cleansing breath.
我知道你很惶恐 往长远想
I know it's frightening. But big picture:
生产过程只是一天
The birth part is just one day.
结束后 我们这辈子都是他的父母了
When it's over, we'll all be parents for the rest of our lives.
怀胎生子为的不就是这些吗 罗斯
I mean, that's what this is all about, right? Ross?
罗斯
Ross?
我要当爸爸了
I'm gonna be a father.
-你才刚知道 -我一直都知道要有孩子了
- This is news to you? - I knew I was having a baby.
只是没意识到要担起父亲的责任
I just never realized the baby was having me.
-你会是个好爸爸的 -你怎会知道
- You'll be great. - How can you say that?
我连阻止马塞尔吃浴垫都办不到
I can't even get Marcel to stop eating the bathmat.
-我如何抚养孩子 -罗斯 科学家说
- How will I raise a kid? - Some scientists are now saying...
孩子和猴子是不一样的
...that monkeys and babies are actually different.
-你去哪里 -外面
- Where you going? - Out.
和谁
With...?
是的
Yes.
能问你一个问题吗
Can I just ask you one question?
你们有没有...你明白的 就是那啥
Have you two, you know, like, you know?
你知道的 对吧
You know, yet?
不关你的事 但是还没有 行了吗
Not that it's any of your business, but no, we haven't.
你是指性吧 对吧
You meant sex, right?
-有空吗 -当然 妮娜 什么事
- Do you have a sec? - Sure. Nina. What's up?
我不知道 最近几天大家怎么都避开我
I don't know.The past few days, people have been avoiding me
还怪怪地看我
and giving me these really strange looks.
或许是因为他们在嫉妒我们
Well, maybe that's because they're jealous of us.
或许吧 但他们为何拿走我的剪刀
Maybe. But that doesn't explain why they keep taking my scissors.
或许是因为你被升职的缘故
Maybe that's because you're getting a big raise!
-我升职了 -当然 为什么不呢
- I am? - Sure. Why not?
天啊 你真是太了不起了
Oh, my God! You're amazing!
那你可不知道
You don't know.
海伦 能尽快办好
Helen, could you make sure
布克宾得小姐升职的手续吗
we put through the paperwork on Miss Bookbinder's raise?
你还要我拿她的心理状况档案到人事部吗
You still want me to send her psychological profile to Personnel?
-她说什么 -海伦喝醉了
- What? - Helen drinks.
你愿意嫁给我吗
Will you marry me?
最后我把一切都告诉她了
I end up told her everything.
她的反应如何
How'd she take it?
还不错 除了拿钉书机钉我之外
Pretty well. Except for the stapler thing.
提示一下 以后遇见类似的状况
A tip. If you're ever in a similar situation...
切记别把手放在桌上
... never, ever leave your hand on the desk.
我知道该怎么调这个了
Okay, I think I get how to do this.
我们能把这关掉吗
Can we turn it off?
让这个画面消失 我实在看不下去
Make them go away because I can't watch.
好了 菲比 现在没有了
Okay, Pheebs, they're gone.
你还好吧
Are you all right?
还不是厄休拉惹的祸
It's just this whole stupid Ursula thing.
菲比 我冒昧问下...
Pheebs, can I ask?
他和她约会真有那么糟吗
So he's going out with her. Is it really so terrible?
是的
Yeah.
我不是说她很坏还是怎样
I'm not saying she's evil or anything.
她总是弄坏我的东西
She's just always breaking my stuff.
我8岁时不肯让她玩我的卡通水杯
When I was 8, and I wouldn’t let her have my Judy Jetson thermos,
她把它扔到公车下
so she threw it under the bus.
然后 还有个蓝迪·布朗 就像
And then there's Randy Brown, who was like
你们有没有异性好友变成男友的情况
Have you ever had a boyfriend who was your best friend?
我当时的状况就是如此
That's what he was for me.
她把他抢走又伤了他的心
And she kind of stole him away and then broke his heart.
他从此不和我说话
Then he wouldn't talk to me anymore.
因为他说他不愿再见像她的人
He didn't want to be around anything that looked like either one of us.
我知道乔伊不是我男朋友或者水杯
I know Joey's not my boyfriend or my thermos...
或其他的什么 但是
...or anything, but
-你不会失去他的 -你得找乔伊谈谈
- You won't lose him. - You gotta talk to Joey.
-说得轻巧 -别这样 他又不知道这些
-Yeah. - Come on, he didn't know these staff.
-如果他知道你的感受 -但他爱上她了
- lf he knew how you felt - But he's falling in love with her.
拜托 他们才约会一个星期
Please. They've been going out a week.
根本还没上床 关系还没确定下来
They haven't even slept together yet. That's not serious.
好吧 好吧
Okay. Okay.
需要帮忙吗
May we help you?
{\\fn手写大象体}未完待续
瑞秋 你在干什么 这么冷的天 赶紧进来
Rachel, what are you doing? It's freezing. Would you come inside?
不不不
No, no, no.
你让我把它们摘下来
You wanted me to take them down...
那我就把它们摘下来
...so I'm taking them down, okay?
瑞秋 瑞秋
Rachel! Rachel!
我没事 我没事
I'm okay. I'm okay.
哈克斯先生
Mr. Heckles?
哈克斯先生 能帮我一下吗
Mr. Heckles, could you help me, please?
看吧 我说过楼上就是这么吵
See, this is just the kind of thing I was talking about.
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