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摩登家庭第一季第一集中英字幕

2024-08-04 来源:步旅网
Kids, breakfast! kids. 孩子们 吃早饭了 孩子们 Phil, would you get them? 菲尔 把他们叫下来好吗 Yeah. Just a sec.Kids! 好 等下 孩子们 That is Okay. 这真是 算了

Kids? Get down here! 孩子们 快下来

Why are you guys yelling at us when we're way upstairs? 我们远在楼上 你们喊也没用 Just text me. All right. That's not gonna happen. 发短信就行了 那是不可能的 And, wow! You're not wearing that outfit. 你不能穿这套衣服出门 What's wrong with it? 这衣服怎么了

Honey, do you have anything to say to your daughter about her skirt? Sorry. 亲爱的 对你女儿这条裙子有什么意见吗 不好意思

Oh, yeah. That looks really cute, sweetheart. Thanks. 挺可爱的嘛 宝贝 谢了 No. It's way too short. 不行 这裙子太短了 People know you're a girl. 大家知道你是女生

You don't need to prove it to them. 没必要穿这么少给他们看

Luke got his head stuck in the banister again. 卢克又把头卡在栏杆里了 I got it. Where's the baby oil? 我去吧 婴儿油在哪儿

It's on our bedside tab- I don't know. Find it. 在我们床头的 我不知道 你自己找 Come on! 拜托

I was out of control growing up. 我在成长期间很皮 There, you know? I said it. 你看 我坦白了

I-I just don't want my kids... 我只是不想让我的孩子 to make the same bad mistakes I made. 犯我一样的错

I-If Haley never wakes up on a beach in Florida, half-naked, 只要海莉没有半裸着在佛罗里达沙滩上醒来

I've done my job. 我就完成任务了 Our job. Right. 我俩的任务 对

I've done our job. 我就算完成了我俩的任务

Vamos, Manny! Kick it! Kick it! 加油 曼尼 踢球啊 踢啊 Don't let him- Kick it! 别让他 踢啊

Manny, go! A la derecha! A la derecha! 曼尼 加油 往右跑 往右 No! No, no. 不 不 不要啊

He tripped him, Jay. Where's the penalty? 他下绊子 杰 怎么没人吹犯规 Gloria, they're 0 and 6. 歌洛莉亚 他们落后了6球了 Let's take it down a notch. 你小点声叫喊 We're very different. 我们非常不同 Jay's from the city. 杰来自城市

He has a big business. 他的生意做得很大

I come from a small village. 我来自一个小山村

Very poor but very, very beautiful. 很穷 但风景怡人

It's the number one village in all Colombia for all the- 我们村拥有全哥伦比亚最多的 What's the word? 什么词来着 Murders. 凶杀案

Yes. The murders. 对 凶杀案

Manny, stop him! 曼尼 拦住他

Stop him! You can do it! 拦住他 你可以的 Damn it, Manny! 你真烂 曼尼

Come on, coach. You gotta take that kid out. 教练 让那孩子下场

You wanna take him out? How about I take you out? 你想让他下场吗 不如我让你\"下场\"如何 Honey, honey.Why don't you worry about your son? 亲爱的 你还是操心你的儿子吧 He spent the first half with his hand in his pants! 他整个上半场光忙着抓裤裆了 I've wanted to tell her off for the last six weeks. 那话我6周来一直想对她说来着 I'm Josh. Ryan's dad. 我叫乔希 莱恩的爸爸

Hi, I'm Gloria Pritchett. Manny's mother. 我叫歌洛莉亚 曼尼的妈妈 Oh, and this must be your dad. - Her dad? 这是你父亲吧 -她父亲? Yeah. No, no. That's funny. 是啊 不 不是 真搞笑 Actually, no, I'm her husband. 其实 我是她老公 Don't be fooled by the, uh- 别被外表骗了 Give me a second here. 稍等

Who is a good girl? Who's that? 谁是乖宝宝 是谁啊 Who's that? 是谁啊

Oh, she's adorable. Oh, thank you. 她真可爱 谢谢 Hi, precious. Hello. 你好 小公主

Uh, we just, uh- We just adopted her from Vietnam. 我们刚从越南领养了她 And we're bringing her home for the first time, huh? 这是我们第一次带她回家

She's an angel. You and your wife must be thrilled. 她像个小天使 你们夫妻俩一定很激动 Sorry, sorry, sorry. Daddy needed snacks. 抱歉 我来晚了 老爹去买点心了 So, what are we talking about? 大家在聊什么呢

Uh, we have been together for- guh, five- five years now? 我们在一起已经...5年了吧? And, uh, we just- we decided we really wanted to have a baby. 我们非常想要一个孩子 So, we had initially asked one of our 一开始 我们想找一个 lesbian friends to be a surrogate, but- 女同性恋朋友做代孕母亲

Then we figured, they're already mean enough. 后来又想 她们平时就够刻薄了

Can you imagine one of 'em pregnant? Pregnant, no. 你能想象她们怀孕后会如何变本加厉吗 No, thank you. Ick. 还是算了吧 想想就怕

Buddy. Why do you keep getting stuck like this? 兄弟 你怎么老是卡在这里面 I thought I could get out this time. 我以为这次能拔出来呢

I'm just gonna say it. He needs to be checked by a specialist. 我直说了吧 他得去检查一下智商

There. Be free. 好了 你自由了 Excalibur. 亚瑟王之剑拔出来了

I'm having a friend over today. Who? 今天我有朋友来家里玩 谁啊 Uh, you don't know him. Him? Him? 你不认识他 他? Ooh, a boy. You gonna kiss him? 哇 男生 你会和他亲嘴吗 Shut up. Easy. Easy. 闭嘴 别激动 别激动

Yeah, shut up! No, you shut up! 闭嘴 你才闭嘴

Luke, Alex, why don't you take it outside, okay? 卢克和艾丽克斯 你们俩出去解决好吗 And do what? 怎么解决

Fight in the sun. It'll be a nice change. Haley. 在太阳下决斗 不错吧 海莉 I'm kidding. Who's the boy? 我逗你们玩呢 是谁要来 His name is Dylan. 他叫迪兰

I might as well tell him not to come... 我还是别让他来算了

Because you guys are just going to embarrass me again. 不然你们又得让我丢脸 Sweetie, hang on a second. 亲爱的 等等

You're 15, and it's the first time you've had a boy over. 你15岁了 还是第一次有男生来家里 I'm bound to be a little surprised, 我是有点小吃惊

but I'm not gonna embarrass you. 可我不会让你丢脸的 I better charge the camcorder. 我去给摄像机充好电

I'm kidding. Come on. Who are you talking to? 逗你玩呢 别这样 也不看看我是谁 I'm hip. I- I surf the Web. 我酷毙了 我会上网

I text. \"LOL\"- Laugh out loud. 我会发短信 LOL 大声笑 \"OMG\"- Oh, my God. OMG---饿滴神

\"WTF\"- Why the face? WTF意思是苦逼脸

Um, you know, I know all the dances to High School Musical, so- 《歌舞青春》里所有的舞我都会跳

We're all in this together * *我们现在欢聚一堂* Yes, we are* *没错*

We're all stars Something, something you know it* *我们都是大明星 * Mom! Dad! What happened? 妈 爸 什么事

Luke just shot me! I didn't mean to. 卢克用枪射我 我不是故意的 Are you okay? No. 你没事吧 有事

The little bitch shot me. 这小贱人用枪射我

Language! They're only plastic BBs. It was an accident. 别说脏话 只是塑料枪 这是意外 What did I tell you would happen if you got him a gun? 早就告诉你 给他枪就会出事 Deal with this. Buddy, uncool. 你看着办吧 老弟 不对哦 That's it? That's- No, no, no, no. 就这样 不行 不行

The agreement was that if he shoots someone, you shoot him. 我们说好他用枪射了别人 你就得射他的

We were serious about that? Yes, we were. 我们当时是认真的吗 当然是真的 And now you have to follow through. 所以你现在要按说好的执行 I'm so sorry. Liar. 对不起 再装

Go. He's got a birthday party. 去吧 他还要去参加生日会呢 What's more important here, Dad? 哪个更重要 爸爸

You can shoot him afterwards. He'll be home at 2:00. 你可以之后再射他 他两点就能到家 I can't shoot him at 2:00. 两点不行

I'm showing a house at 2:00. 我两点还得带人去看房子

What about 3:00? No, he's got a soccer game at 3:00. 三点吧 不行 三点他有足球赛 And then- Oh, we gotta leave for that dinner thing at 5:00. 然后我们五点就得去赴宴 4:15. You could shoot him at 4:15. 4点15吧 你可以在那时候射他 Yeah, I guess that works for me. Oh! 行 那个时候我有空

\"Shoot Luke.\" Sorry, dude. It's on the calendar. 射卢克 抱歉 记入日程了 Oh, come on! 别这样啊

I'm quitting soccer. It is a game for children. 我不想踢足球了 那是小孩玩 No, you're not quitting. 不 你不能放弃

You would have stopped that goal 对方之所以会进球

if you weren't staring at that little girl. 完全是因为你光顾着看小女孩了 She is not a girl. She's a woman. 她不是女孩 她是女人

You know, Gloria, that little blowup with that other mom 歌洛莉亚 你犯得着非要和 Why do you have to do things like that? 那个妈妈吵架吗

If somebody says something about my family, 如果有人说我的家人 I'm going to I'm just saying. 我一定 我只是说

You could take it down here a little bit. That's all. 你火气应该小一点 就这样 Oh, yeah. 'Cause that's where you live, down here. 没错 你总是这么忍气吞声的 But I live up here! Yeah, but, 可我咽不下这口气 可是

you don't have to be so emotional all the time.That's all I'm saying. 我只是说 你别那么容易激动嘛

Manny, you're with me on this, right? 曼尼 你也这么觉得吧

I wanna tell Brenda Feldman I love her. 我要告诉布兰达·费德曼我爱她 Oh, for God sakes. Manny, she's 16. 天啊 曼尼 她都16岁了 Oh. It's okay for you to take an older lover? 你不就找了年长的对象吗

Hey, watch it. I wanna go to the mall where she works. 嘿 说话注意点 我要去她上班的商场

But first I need to get my white shirt, the silk one. 不过我先得换上我的白衬衫 丝绸的那件 Okay. If that's what you really want to do. 好吧 如果你真想这么做的话 Seriously. Not to be the evil stepdad, 说真的 不是我要当恶毒的后爹 but if you put on a puffy white shirt... 可你要真穿着那臃肿的白衬衣 and declare your love for a 16-year-old, 去向16岁的姑娘告白

you're gonna be swinging from the flagpole 你会被扒得只剩条白内裤 in your puffy white underpants. 然后被吊在旗杆上 Stop the car. Oh, where are you going? 停车 你去哪儿 See? You hurt his feelings. 看到没 你伤他的心了

Ah- Well, if it toughens him up a little bit then- 要是这能让他变得坚强点 Oh, geez. He's picking flowers. 妈 他去采野花了

Manny's very passionate, just like his father. 曼尼是个多情种 和他爹一样

My first husband- he's very handsome, but too crazy. 我的前夫 风度翩翩 但太疯狂了 It seemed like all we did was fight and make love, 我们不是在吵架就是在做爱 fight and make love, fight and make love. 吵架 做爱 吵架 做爱

One time, I'm not kidding you, we fell out the window together. 说真的 有一次 我们从窗口摔下去了

Which- Which one were you doing? 你们当时到底在做什么 I'm hearing this for the first time. 我也是第一次听说 This doesn't worry you? 你不担心吗

She barely slept on the plane and she's still wide awake. 她在飞机上就没怎么睡 现在还很清醒

Oh, stop worrying. I can't. 别想多了 不想才怪

That- That orphanage was all women. 那个孤儿院里都是女人

Maybe she just- she can't fall asleep unless she feels a woman's shape. 也许离开女性柔软的怀抱 她就睡不着

I guess that's possible. So here. 有可能 那你抱着她

What the hell is that supposed to mean? 你这话是什么意思 Yes, 没错

I've gained a few extra pounds while we were expecting the baby, 在等待领养孩子的期间 我是长胖了一点

which has been very difficult. 过程相当艰辛 But apparently your body 但显然你的身体会

does a nesting, very maternal, primal thing... 产生一些母性的本能反应 where it retains nutrients- 来储存养分

some sort of molecular physiology thing. 像是分子生理学那类的 But that's science. 那是科学事实

You can't- You can't fight it, so- 人类 根本无力抵抗

I'm not saying anything.You're saying everything. 我没别的意思 你就是话里有话 Count to three. One, two- 数到3 1 2 Three. Okay. 3 好吧

Oh, Cam. This is beautiful. Oh, my God. Do you love it? 小卡 真美 我的天 你喜欢吗 Yes, I- 当然 我

What the hell is that? 这是什么玩意

I had Andre do it while we were gone. 我让安珠尔趁我们不在时画的 Is that us, with wings? 那是我俩吗 还有翅膀

We're floating above her, always there to protect her. 我们在她的上方 永远守护着她 Okay. Well, that's reassuring, right, Lily? 这真让人心安 对吧 莉莉

Yes, we tore you away from everything you know, 我们把你从熟悉的环境中抢出来 but don't worry, things are normal here. 可别担心 新环境一切\"正常\" Your fathers are floating fairies. 你的大爸二爸可是飞天小精灵哦 No, can you call Andre, 不行 你能叫安珠尔

have him paint something a little less gay? 重新画点不那么基情的东西吗 By the way, we need to stop having friends 另外 我们也该少和安珠尔往来 with names like Andre. 他名字也太娘了

Redheaded dad is angry daddy. No, I'm not. 红发老爹怒火旺盛 我才不是 Yes, you are. 你就是

Even Pepper pointed it out on the way home from the airport. 回来的路上 连胡娇都看出来了 Okay, that's another one- Pepper. 你看 又一个娘气的名字 胡娇 Okay, what's up? 你到底怎么不爽 All right, look. I- 好吧 听着

I- I never told my family we were adopting a baby. 我还没有告诉家里领养孩子的事 And... I know. 而且 我知道

You do? Yeah, and I don't blame you. I know your family. 你知道 我不怪你 我了解你家人 You'd tell 'em. They'd say something judgmental. 你一告诉他们 他们就开始说三道四 Exactly. You'd get mad. 就是这样 然后你就会生气

I know. And then something that's supposed to be nothing but joyful 没错 当爹本该是一件喜事

suddenly turns into this huge fight. 转眼就变成一团混战

And who wants a big, emotional scene like that? 谁愿意让事情变得一团糟呢 Thank you. Thank you. 谢谢 谢谢

I'm so- I'm so relieved you understand. 你能理解我 真是让我松了一口气 I invited them over for dinner tonight. 所以我邀请了他们今晚来吃饭 Hi. Hey, you must be Dylan. 你好 你一定是迪兰吧

Hey. Dylan. Yeah. -I'm Haley's mother. 是的 迪兰 我是海莉的妈妈 Come on. Let's go. Okay. Um- 我们走吧 那个 Hang on one second. 等一下

Dylan, you're still in high school? 迪兰 你还在念高中吗

Yeah, I'm a senior. A senior. Okay. Cool. 是 我高三了 高三 很好

Hey, Phil. Sweetie. Honey. He is Dylan, and he is a senior. 菲尔 亲爱的 这是迪兰 他读高三

You have to scare him. 你得给他个下马威

Let me meet this \"Playa.\" 让我瞧瞧这个花心大少 Phil Dunphy, yo. 在下菲尔·邓菲

It's like that. You just- You just stare down at 'em, 就是这样 你只需死盯着他们看 let the eyes do the work. 用眼神中的杀气震住他们

Your mouth might be saying, \"Hey, we cool,\" 你嘴上说着 没问题 but your eyes are like, \"No, we not.\" 可你的眼神说 才怪 \"Nice to meet you.\" \"No, it's not.\" 很高兴见到你 才怪 \"It's all good.\" 挺不错嘛 \"No, it's not.\" 才怪

Okay, I see you two guys- Wait, wait, wait. 我看你俩已经 等一下 You two- 你们俩

You two keep it real, know what I mean, son? 你俩要坦诚相待 懂吗 小子 Not really. 不太懂

Please, stop. That's cool. 求求你 别说了 没事 Brenda Feldman. 布兰达·费尔曼

What is that? A poem I have written for Brenda Feldman. 你拿的什么 我为布兰达·费尔曼写的诗

Of course it is. 不用想也知道

I put my thoughts into words and now my words into action. 我将心事化为文字 将文字用于行动

Hey, I'll give you 50 bucks not to do this. 你取消行动的话 我就给你50块钱

I'm 11 years old. What am I gonna do with money? 我才11岁而已 要那么多钱干什么 What are you gonna do with a 16-year-old? 你这年纪要16岁的花姑娘又能干什么

He's like a bullfighter. Mmm. You ever see a bullfight? 他就像个斗牛士 你见过斗牛吗 I can't watch this. You're in such a bad mood. 我看不下去了 我知道你心情不好

And I know why. It's because that man thought you were my father. 我也知道原因 因为那人以为你是我爸爸

No. Yes. 不是的 就是

No. When you say \"No\" like that, it's always \"Yes.\" 不是 你这样否认时 就代表是 Come on. We're in the mall. 别这样 我们都到商场了

Let's get you, like, some younger clothes. 给你买点年轻的衣服吧

There's a store there. I don't need any younger clothes. 那边有家店 我不需要年轻的衣服 And I don't care what some jackass 我也不在乎那些

in a pair of ripped jeans thinks about me. 穿着破牛仔裤的混蛋如何看我 Good. You shouldn't. 没错 你不用在乎他们

You should only care what I think. 你只要在乎我的想法就行了

I love you, and I don't care how old you are. 我爱你 我不在意你的年纪

So stop being a gloomy goose and stop being so hard on Manny. 所以别郁闷了 对曼尼也别那么凶

The only reason I'm hard on Manny... 我对曼尼严格只是因为

Is just because I don't wanna see him make a fool of himself. 我不想让他出洋相 And I can smell that hair goo of his from here. 我从这儿都能闻到他的发胶味了

Look, I don't know what's gonna happen to him over there. 我不知道他那里会发生什么 But you're his family now, and that means only one thing- 可你是他的家人 这就意味着 You be the wind in his back, not the spit in his face. 你只可背后送春风 不可当面唾其脸 What? -It's something my mom always says. 啥玩意 -这是我妈常挂嘴边的话 It's gorgeous in Spanish. 用西班牙语说很华丽的 Look, he's there. 瞧 他来了

Alex, get out! Mom! 艾丽克斯 出去 妈妈你看她 Alex, leave your sister alone. 艾丽克斯 别去烦你姐

I was just getting my book. Gosh. 我只是进去拿我的书而已 至于吗

I know, sweetie. But you need to respect their privacy. 我知道 亲爱的 可你要尊重个人隐私 What are they doing up there? Nothing. 他们在楼上干嘛呢 没干嘛 Lying on her bed, watching a movie. 躺在她床上并肩看电影 Okay. Okay. 很好 很好

Um, I'm making a cake for tonight. 我在为今晚的聚餐准备蛋糕 You wanna help me with the frosting? 你想帮我做糖霜吗 Sure. 好啊

So, you know, if Haley got pregnant, 要是海莉怀孕了

would you ever pretend she has mono for a few months, 你会假装她得了腮腺炎 请假在家 and then, like, tell everyone the baby's yours? 然后告诉别人那孩子是你的吗

- What? - This senior at school was \"Out sick\" for four months, -什么 -有个高中生请了4个月病假

but Jenna Resnick swears she saw her breast-feeding 可吉娜·瑞斯尼克发誓说看到她 at a coin-op car wash. 在自助洗车站给孩子喂奶

Buddy, what are you wearing? 老弟 你穿了多少衣服啊 Nothing. Uh-uh. No jacket. 没穿多少 把外套脱了 One hat. 只能戴一顶帽子

How many pairs of underwear do you have on? 你穿了几条内裤啊 One. 就1条 Six. 是6条

First of all, it would be really cool to see Haley that fat. 首先 看海莉怀孕变胖还蛮爽的 And how awesome would it be 更酷的是

to have a fake little brother who's really my nephew. 多了个假弟弟 实际上是我亲外甥

Haley is not getting pregnant. 海莉才不会怀孕 Just saying \"If.\" I know. 我只是说假如 我知道

And I know you like to make trouble for your sister, 我知道你喜欢找你姐的茬儿 but it's not gonna work this time. 不过这次不管用了

You know why? 'Cause your sister's a good girl. 知道为啥吗 因为你姐是个好女孩 I know. I was just like her when I was- 我明白 因为她和我当年一模一... I want you to know, I'm not enjoying this. 要知道 我也不想这么做 But this is an important lesson that you're learning. 可你得吸取这个教训 So, soak it. Keep it. 所以 记好了 记住了

You're too close. It's gonna hurt. 你站太近了 这样会很疼的 It's supposed to hurt. 就是要你疼

And why are you smiling? I'm- What? 你干嘛贱贱地笑 我笑了吗 Oh, forget it. I can't do this. 算了 我下不了手

The point is you're scared. I think you've learned your lesson. 就是要让你害怕 你已经学到教训了

Mom! What are you doing? 妈 你干什么啊

Oh, hey! I was just, um, dropping off some laundry. 我是来放洗好的衣服 Is this a bad time? Yeah. 打扰到你们了吗 当然 Oh. Okay. 那我走好了

Uh, can you shut the door, please? 你能把门带上吗

Actually, we're just gonna go ahead and leave that open. 我们还是让门开着吧 Why? 为啥

Because I have, uh, seen this little show before- 因为这种场景我见多了 Lying on the bed with a tall senior. 和高大的学长共卧一塌

One minute you're just friends, watching Falcon Crest, 上一秒还只是一起看《鹰冠庄园》的朋友

and the next you're lying underneath the air hockey table 下一秒你们就钻进游戏桌下 with your bra in your pocket. 宽衣解带了 Mom! 妈妈

You hit my bone! It was an accident! 你打到我的骨头了 纯属意外

I thought you were my friend! I am your friend. 我以为你是我哥们呢 我是啊 Dad! Dad, Dad. You have got to talk to Mom. 爸爸 你必须和妈妈谈谈

She is, like, completely freaking out and embarrassing me! 她简直是疯了 而且丢尽了我的脸 Honey, your mom isn't always as cool about things as- 宝贝 你妈是不像你爸那么通情达理 What is with this thing? 这玩意怎么回事啊 My dad. 我爸

Uh, my dad still isn't completely comfortable with this. 我爸对这事还是不太习惯

Um- He-He still does this thing. It's been five years now. 已经过了5年了 他还是无法完全接受

And he still does this thing where he announces himself... 每次他要进入我和小卡在的房间时 before walking into any room we're in... 他都会先喊一声

just to make sure he doesn't have to ever see us kiss. 以防撞见我和小卡亲嘴 Wish my mother had that system. 要是我妈也有这个习惯就好了 Remember? - Not now. 还记得吗 -以后再说

I still can't believe you did this to me. 我真不敢相信你这么对我

Would you get in the spirit of things? It's a celebration. 你能高兴点吗 这是个庆祝会啊 Oh, God. 天啊

Okay, I'm gonna go get Lily ready. Okay. 我去给莉莉打扮一下 好

And I want you to just come straight out with All right. 我要你对他们实话实说 好吧 Okay. You can do this. 听话 你能做到的

Yeah. Sports guy chest bump. 来个运动员式的撞胸 No. Sports guy chest bump. 不要 来撞一个 Cam. Oh! All right. Go - Do it. 小卡 好了 上吧 Sorry. 抱歉

How are you? Hi, guys. Hey. 你好啊 大家好啊

That looks good. Oh, thank you. Thanks. 看起来很美味啊 谢谢

Don't thank us. Open it. Dad is coming right behind. 不用谢 打开吧 爸爸后脚马上就到 Knock, knock! We're here. Coming in! 有人吗 我们要进来了

Don't worry, Dad. Nothing gay going on here. 别担心爸爸 我们没在里面搞基

May I take your multicolored coat and bejeweled cap? 能帮你脱下这缤纷外套和闪亮小帽吗 Yeah. Yeah. Hey, Jay. 拿去吧 杰你好啊 Gloria, hi. Hi. 你好 歌洛莉亚 你好

How are you? Hi, Dad. Hi, Gloria. How are you? 老爸你还好吗 歌洛莉亚 你好 Oh, what a beautiful dress. Ay, thank you, Phil. 裙子真漂亮 谢谢你 菲尔 Okay. 好吧

Oh, hey, Phil. 菲尔

That's how she says \"Phil.\" Not \"Feel.\" Phil. 她是叫你名字 不是要你去摸

So how was your trip? It was good. It was good actually. 旅行怎么样 挺好的 真的 But, um, about that, I- I 关于这事

have something that I need to tell you guys. 我有些事要告诉你们

Um- Uh, we didn't just go to Vietnam for pleasure. 我们去越南不光是为了旅游 We, uh, kind of have some big news. 我们有重要消息宣布

Oh, God. If Cam comes out here with boobs, I'm leaving. 天啊 要是小卡隆了胸 我立马走人 Dad. I hope he didn't embarrass you, Mom. 爸爸 我希望你的家长没让你觉得丢人 妈 Oh, don't mind her. Haley had her first boy over today... 别管她 海莉今天首次带男生回家 And Phil shot him. 菲尔就给了他一枪 We adopted a baby. 我们领养了一个宝宝 Her name is Lily. 她名叫莉莉

Exciting! Just turn it off. 激动吧 停下来

I can't turn it off. It's who I am. 我停不下来 这就是我的个性 The music. Oh, yes, the music. 我是说音乐 关音乐啊 Come say hi to Lily. 来和莉莉打招呼吧 Ay, miren a la princesita. 看看这个小公主 The little princess. 真是个小公主

She's so cute! Thank you. 她好可爱 多谢夸奖 Let me see her. Let me see her. 让我看看 让我看看 Hi there, Lily. 你好啊 莉莉

\"Lily.\" Isn't that gonna be hard for her to say? 莉莉 对她来说不是很难发音吗

Phil. Excuse me. 菲尔打住 我说

Okay, I-I-I know that I said I thought this was a bad idea. 我知道我说了领养这个主意很糟糕 But, uh, what do I know? 可我又懂什么呢

I mean, it's not like I wrote the book on fatherhood. 我也不是个模范父亲

Been trying all my life to get it right. I'm still screwing up. 一辈子都想做好爸爸 可我还是搞砸了

Right, Manny? I wrote a song about it in the car. 对吧曼尼 我在车上为此写了首歌 Of course you did. 意料之中

Anyway, I'm happy for you. 不管怎样 我为你们感到高兴 And, uh, you should know that, uh, 你们要知道

I'm not here to spit in your face, 我不是来唾你们脸的

I'm here to... blow at your back. 我是来给你们 吹吹后背春风的 Anyway, um, so, about- about a year ago, 总之 一年前

Cam and I started feeling this longing, you know, 小卡和我开始渴望有一个 for something more, like, uh, maybe a baby? 有一个 孩子

Ooh, that's a bad idea. What do you mean, \"Bad idea\"? 这主意很糟糕 你说糟糕是什么意思 Well, kids need a mother. 孩子需要有妈妈

I mean if you two guys are bored, get a dog. 如果你们俩无聊了 可以养条狗 Okay, we're not bored, Dad. 我们不是闲得无聊 爸

I support you, Mitchell, even though you're not my son. 我支持米奇尔 尽管你不是我亲生的 I-I-I-I think what Dad is trying to say... 我觉得爸爸的意思是

is that, Mitchell, you're a little uptight. 米奇尔 你有点紧张兮兮的

Kids bring chaos, and- and you don't handle it well. 孩子就意味着麻烦 你没法处理这种事 That's not what Dad's saying. 爸爸可不是这个意思 That's what you're saying. 这是你的意思

And it's insulting in a whole different way. 而且是从另一个角度羞辱了我 Okay, people. Let's all \"Chillax.\" 好了 各位都冷静点

Hey, where's Uncle Cameron? Thank you. Thank you. 卡梅隆舅夫呢 多谢多谢

Someone who's not insulting me notices he's not here. 总算有人发现他不在了 而不是光羞辱我

Oh, so that's the big announcement, huh? 原来你的重要消息就是这个啊 You two broke up. 你俩分手了吗

Well- Well, a baby wasn't gonna help that anyway. 领养个孩子也挽救不了破裂的婚姻 And let me tell you. You're better off, 老实说 你们分了也好 because he was a bit of a drama queen. 他就喜欢小题大做 No, no, no. Stop. Stop. No. 不是的 打住 打住

You come into my house and you insult me and my boyfriend, 你们到我家来 还羞辱我和我的男朋友

who, by the way, is not that dramatic- 而且他才没有小题大做

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